Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Thoughts on boys

So since I recently discovered that I am going to be the mom of 4 boys, I have several thoughts on my mind.  The first is people's reactions when I tell them that I am expecting another boy.  I found it humorous, and honestly sometimes almost upsetting when everyone wanted us to have a girl.  Most were people who didn't know we liked the idea of having all boys and just figured, well I won't guess all the reasons why I think people wanted us to have a girl, let me just say I assumed they were all well-intentioned people who wanted us to be happy.  And while it did get a little old to hear "I hope its a girl" from pretty much everyone (no exaggerations),  I have to admit that I also at times had similar thoughts.  (Just to clarify, and I am going to be perfectly honest, I always wanted and thought I would have mostly or all boys. I have nothing against girls.  I wanted a boy with the first 3, but only because I wanted at least mostly boys.  With this pregnancy I loved the idea of all boys, but I was having a great time thinking about having a girl and shopping trips, pedicures, buying a bunch of cute girl clothes, passing on my womanly experience/pseudo-wisdom, planning a wedding, etc.)  So I mostly understood and only rarely got even slightly bothered.  What I am finding now that surprisingly bothers me more is that when people find out I am having another boy they feel they have to offer condolences, even after I've told them I am excited and always have been about the idea of having a bunch of boys.  They say things like "at least you have everything and you don't have to buy anything new... at least you are already in the groove and know what you're doing (as if that's really possible no matter how many children of the same gender you have)."  I even had one sales clerk apologize to me when she found out I was having another boy (I only had Henry and Miles with me at the time, too. She didn't even know this was boy #4).  She realized halfway through the "sorry" that maybe that was not the appropriate response, and asked me how I felt about that.  But even after she found out I was thrilled she added the "at least's".  I am sure I am over-reacting, but its on my mind at the moment and I'm in rambling mode, so you get it all.  Speaking of rambling mode, this is getting way too long and Henry wants a turn on the computer so I need to hurry and finish.  Thank you to all of you who were excited for me and offered genuine congratulations and positive remarks about me having another boy.  It helped to hear from people who understood how happy I was and would celebrate with me.  And just in case someone reading this is afraid maybe they said something that bothered me, please don't think a thing about it.  I know I don't understand what its like to have a girl or both genders and I totally get that everyone meant well and really did just want me to be happy, and there is a very good chance that it didn't even cross your mind that I would take it that way.  I am not hurt or upset, I just find the whole thing interesting.  Henry is hanging off my arm now, so I will save my funny boy story for another post.  Stay tuned...

P.S.  I recognize that for whatever reason it is not always socially acceptable to care about what gender you're baby is and that you really should just hope for a healthy baby.  I recognize that.  But I also recognize that that is what everyone hopes for so why is not ok to say how you feel about having one gender or another.  Of course I, like all parents, will love whatever my baby is, boy, girl, healthy or otherwise. But lest I sound ungrateful or too caught up in the unimportant details I am adding this disclaimer.  :)